I did it. I followed my gut.
and heart.
and soul.
and passion.
and motivation.
I just went for it. I quit my job.
Has anyone else ever read quotes on Pinterest, seen an empowering post on Instagram, or even listened to a motivational podcast and felt like it was just speaking to you? I've been feeling that way for a while. I knew I wanted more.
More creativity.
More flexibility.
More time with my husband.
More time at home.
More time to live the life I've always imagined.
I mean I just think it's absurd the way life works sometimes. You spend all this money to go to college and then get a job to pay off your college debt. You spend all this money to buy house and then you're away at your job for at least a third of the day, 5 days each week. You fall in love and find someone you want to spend your life with but you spend most of your waking hours with your coworkers.
And there is nothing wrong with living your life this way if you are happy with it. But I just wasn't. And I really hadn't been in a long time. I feel like I've lost myself throughout the years.
I was spunky. I was adventurous. I was brave.
Lately I've just been scared. Longing for what I once was, how I once felt, and trying to figure out how to get myself back to that person. I finally realized that my situation had to change. I had to take a leap of faith to de-stress and gain some clarity. For me, that was to quit my job.
Why hadn't I done that sooner? I really thought I would figure myself out and get a game plan in action (such as another secure income) first. The reality was that I was so invested into my job that my wheels were just spinning when my focus wasn't on it. I needed a break to rest, both physically and mentally.
And that's where I am now. It's been 4 weeks and it's been pretty blissful if I'm honest. I don't have to set an alarm in the mornings which really makes a huge difference in my day. I adopted a second dog and spend a good chunk of my day at dog parks + giving belly rubs. I've watched a LOT of Gilmore Girls (Team Jess!) and I have zero regrets about that. It's been so great to just zone out and allow the stress/anxiety to fade away. I really don't think I've been this relaxed since before we moved to New York almost 6 years ago.
But let's be real, our financial situation isn't one that allows me to do this forever. I'm grateful that my husband has been so understanding and gracious to allow me to have this time, but now that my head is a bit more clear, I need to figure out what's next. I've been doing a bit of part-time work from home and aside from figuring out how I work best in that type of environment, it's been just what I wanted. I know I want to, at least primarily, work from home/my own studio. I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I've just never quite felt like I knew exactly a path to go down. And I still don't. But I'm motivated. I've seen/read/heard from all these successful people who've built their businesses around the lives they wanted by creating a business around what brings them joy. That's exactly what I'm set out to do.
One thing that definitely brings me joy is
this. Creating & sharing content has been such an important outlet for me since I first started dabbling in it back in 2012. I literally cried to a boss in New York when my job consumed so much of my life that I couldn't maintain my site (throwback to the
Opal & Violet times). I really don't know a better time than now to put the energy into this. All the excuses I've had before are
mostly gone so I'm really the only thing holding myself back if I don't do it now.
So hello, again. As a first step to rediscovering my passion, I'll be sharing here at least once each week (still need to find out what feels right for me). I'll be sharing daily (a lot of style/shopping content) on Facebook. And I'm vowing to show up on Instagram frequently (in both semi-curated squares and in behind-the-scenes stories).
Real life. Real love. Real fashion.
Thanks for sticking with me. For not giving up on me. For reading what I have to say. For encouraging me when I don't feel good about myself. Your page views, DMs, and comments are so incredibly encouraging and all mean more to me than you know.
Photography by Tyler Skiles
